I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
it was like eating out sand paper
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Randomize
