nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Green mimosas i think yes
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Randomize