we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Your cock deserves a montage
He keeps bees of course he's weird
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
