I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
