miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize
