this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize