she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
