My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
