When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
