she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
