I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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