love makes seman taste better
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
