thus making me awesome and them whores
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Randomize
