it was like his penis was on wheels.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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