He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Randomize
