Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
