Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
