she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
