I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Randomize