My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Did you pee in the oven last night??
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
