I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize
