I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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