Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
