We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I wish you could order shots online.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
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