Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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