Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
