ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
