Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Girls should come with a carfax report
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
