He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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