She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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