sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Randomize
