you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
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