it wasn't lemon gatorade
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
