I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
