Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Shame - the story of my life.
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