I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
