The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
