Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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