I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Randomize
