i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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