SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
