so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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