do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize