He asked me if I "almost moaned"
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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