Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
