Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize