idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Girls should come with a carfax report
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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