At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Randomize
