I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
