I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Randomize
