I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
did you just send me my own nude
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Randomize
