i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize
