is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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