Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize