Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
