I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
