you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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