You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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