Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
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