idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
My dad just said "fuck circus"
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
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