Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Randomize
