I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
