my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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