Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
