I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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