Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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