There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
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