There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
