physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Randomize
