Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
