how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
