yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Randomize
