i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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