Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Randomize
