now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I'm like, not good at living.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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