tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
