were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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