When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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