careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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